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Sunday, April 3, 2011

The power of I'm Sorry...(please reduce your E.G.O to a min. level to do this)

It's Sunday evening, I knew I am suppose to be at home at this moment, taking care of my family, cook and prepare dinner for them. It's already 7.30pm when i finished my work at office and from the time i reached office 11am this morning, I am trying my best to finish my target work and settle all urgent stuff, so that i can go out and have lunch tomorrow. Despite of that, I have to say thank you to my hubby who willing to take care the kids today and Im sorry to him as he have to bring the kids to the park alone today and face a difficulties to handle both kids at the playground.

Talking about sorry and apologize, i am a kind of person (or woman) who believe on the power of these two things. Actually word "I'm sorry" is a common word use by me, although i know i dont have to say that, especially when it comes to the 'professional world' wheres everybody trying to show off their capability and try to prove that he/she is the boss or decision maker. My close friend said that Im too 'soft and humble' and she never agree when i apologize to people but it's okay for me.We are experts at wronging each other, but when it comes to setting things right, we all could use some help and surprisingly, saying “I’m sorry" will bring a miracle is some situation :)

Based on book : 5 Language of Apology wrote by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas, the language is apology is by:

Expressing Regret: normally truly come from the heart and gets right to the point. It doesn’t make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, “Expressing Regret” takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, “Expressing Regret” is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship.

Accept Responsibility: We have to accept responsibility for our own failures. For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong. I did this last week when i did so many mistake in my works and then have to admit to my boss that Im wrong. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference (yes, it is)

Make Restitution: In order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. It is like some people believe that the one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. So if you do something that is wrong, admit your fault and do something to gain back the trust, learn from the mistake.

Genuinely Repent: Speak to people that you will make a change. Hello...people cannot read our mind so we have to tell them. Make a plan to change to prove it. Yes, change is hard but for me, i always trust that you can ...IF YOU WANT.You must remember that with God’s help, anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.

Request Forgiveness: Hmm..this is the most hard things to do. Not all people can do this, because of ego. Me also, i cant do this by word, but there is other way for me, i love to message or write email even create a card to my hubby if i did some mistake that hurt him. Well, after all, it's all up to him. I am leaving the final decision up to my partner – to forgive or not forgive.

Remember not to treat forgiveness lightly.It is something to be cherished and appreciated.

The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.

I said: It's nothing wrong to say Im Sorry if you know you are wrong. We are human and nobody's perfect. We all do mistake, so why bother to say sorry?

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